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How to be Ghetto Fabulous

September 24, 2010

You may not be able to tell from my white bread looks, but I am pretty ghetto fabulous. It’s just a gift I have. It may also explain my not-so-secret guilty pleasure of listening to Eminem. Some people may tell you the secret to being ghetto fabulous is to throw out a fake gang sign in a photo. This is a pretty common practice among females on Facebook and other social networking tomfoolery.

But those people are wrong. Ghetto fabulousness is all about your ride. And your ride is all about your rims. And I have got ghetto down to a science when it comes to my sweet ride, Huck the Nissan Versa. But I’m willing to share with you, The Internet, how you too can be ghetto fabulous.

Exhibit 1:

Check out those sweet rims. What?!

If your car came with high-dolla’ hub caps, go ahead and yank those things off. Or, in my case, hit a curb to knock one off and then slowly let the others get messed up until they fall off as well. I like to think that they came off as I was driving 70 miles per hour on the highway, and they had enough momentum to have a fun little flight onto the side of the road. I’d imagine it was a pretty exciting ride for them.

Exhibit 2:

Oh yeah, show some love for the Nissan.

But the key to fully-formed ghetto is to leave just one hub cap, so people can see that you had high-dolla’ hub caps at one time.

Exhibit 3:

Left: Too much // Right: Just enough

The final stage to ghetto fabulousness is jewelry. Now, I still like to keep it classy, so I bypassed the fully-ghetto necklace on my rearview mirror to something a little more muted.

And that, my friends, is how you, too, can be ghetto fabulous. Maybe next time I’ll teach you how to wear your nerdiness like a cloak of invisibility (Harry Potter reference—huzzah!).

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