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Pranking With a Mullet

October 13, 2010

It’s just a fact of life that there are some things men do better than women. One of those things is pulling a prank. I can’t put my finger on the reason why. My theory is that it’s because they’re better liars, but on the other hand women are born with the innate ability to manipulate and you’d think that would make up for their inability to lie well.

Now that I’ve alienated everyone by calling men liars and women manipulators, let’s talk about the one and only time I ever pulled off a prank. And then promptly fessed up to it because I couldn’t keep a straight face.

It all begins with a mullet. The guys in college had a wooden statue they called Mullet God because, well, he looked like he had a mullet. The god would sit in a dorm room or house until another guy stole it and put it (in full view) in his room. Once it was discovered, it would go back to its home until someone else sneaked it out and into their room. The mullet god was always in full view, so the key was taking it without anyone noticing and see how long it took for someone to notice he was gone.

Let me take a moment to say that men also have an innate ability to turn anything into a game. Take an object, any inanimate object, and within 10 minutes a man can come up with a game using that object. This was the case with the mullet god gag.

Of course, we females wanted to be a part of the action, but usually when we were in the same room as Mullet God, there were several other people in the room. We didn’t just hang out in the guy’s rooms by ourselves. So we had to wait for the perfect time. Melissa pulled off the heist first and hid it in mine and Haley’s dorm room until she would be able to take him to her room. The brilliance of this plan was that it would take even longer than usual for the guys to find out where Mullet God was taken, because they weren’t allowed in our dorm except for a few hours a week. Some may call this cheating, but I call it making up for our lack of pranking skills.

So Mullet God was living in our dorm. And that’s when I had a stroke of brilliance. It was time for Mullet God to see Campbell’s campus and take in the sights. So Haley and I took Mullet God around the campus and took pictures of him in the student center, the library, post office, the park and a few other places. And yes, we giggled like schoolgirls the entire time. Try smuggling a large wooden totem poll into the library without giggling. It’s like looking at a corgi without wondering what they’d look like wearing short-legged pants. It’s just not possible.

We made it back to our dorm, undetected, and created an online portfolio with the photos. Next we created and Instant Messenger account for our mulleted friend.

Side note: Remember the days of AOL Instant Messenger? Leaving a message for someone or quoting a song in your away message? And then there was the uber-important task of choosing the right little picture thingy for your profile. Those were the days, folks.

Once everything was in place, we sent a message to each of the guys instructing them to go see what Mullet God had been up to lately, and included a link to the photos.

Haley and I were high with excitement over our successful prank. We were goody-two-shoes and therefore would never be suspected of such a dastardly and sneaky prank. I was Danny Ocean and she was Rusty Ryan. We were Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Except for the fact that each of those characters broke the law, and like I said: good-two-shoes.

At dinner, a mere few hours later, Scott asked us if we had received the same message with a link to the photos.

 

Ricky Bobby doesn't know what to do with his hands either.

 

Right. You know that feeling when you’re in front of a camera and you don’t know what to do with your hands? Do you put them on your hips? Cross your arms? Just by telling yourself to “act natural,” you lose the ability to do anything other than act like Keanu Reeves in…well…every movie he’s ever been in.

Message? What…uh…message? Message you are speaking of?”

We fumbled. We tried to shoo the blame away by immediately saying we hadn’t done it, making it clear we had. Our sneaky ways had been outed…by us.

The next time a few of us attempted a prank, the “victims” ended up pranking us in return by making us feel really guilty. And thus ended my short career as a prankster. My plan is to abstain from pranks for the next 30 or so years, and then come out with something so huge and amazing that it will make up for my 30 year hiatus. It will probably involve an elephant and a plane.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Lis permalink
    October 13, 2010 1:09 pm

    Excellent post…I had a similar prank fail recently. After successfully not only pulling off the prank but even lying convincingly to my victim afterward, I then became too relaxed and completely spilled the beans unintentionally a week later. Now I’m haunted by the prospect of the prank retaliation that will inevitably occur.

  2. Schniff Schnaff Shalomie permalink
    October 13, 2010 1:09 pm

    I applaud you again for this wonderful moment in CU history. I thoroughly enjoyed the mystery (though shortlived) and the walk down memory lane.

    My question is still who is behind the facebook page, which happened a year or so later. And, more importantly, where is the mulletgod now?!

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      October 13, 2010 1:28 pm

      I’ve wondered about the facebook page too and actually assumed you made it. If only I were a computer hacker we could solve the mystery…

      • Schniff Schnaff Shalomie permalink
        October 13, 2010 3:37 pm

        Sounds like something I’d do. I’m surprised no one ever claimed the glory of making it. I mean, they had Mulletgod at Stonehenge, among other places.

        I tried to go Sherlock on the page and deduct the creator, to no avail.

      • dtdorrin permalink*
        October 13, 2010 5:32 pm

        I made the Stone Henge photo (and one at Niagara and I believe there’s one in Las Vegas). I put them in the same online album as the Campbell photos, so I guess they got them there. Hmmm…the mystery deepens. Or thickens. Whichever you prefer.

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