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Mysteries of the Universe: Tow Trucks

November 22, 2010

I don’t claim to be a genius or anything–except in matters of great import like how to bake a Digiorno pizza–so there are a lot of Mysteries of the Universe I don’t understand. For example: what happens to the cars that don’t get sold before the new model comes out? What will happen to the unsold 2010 Camrys when the 2011 Camrys come out? Is it like a bakery that gives away unsold bread at closing time? Do they start giving away Camrys if you wait by the back door of the Toyota plant at closing time?

But today we’re here to discuss something that has boggled my mind for years: Flashing lights on tow trucks. I understand the need for flashing lights when they’re on the side of the road actually picking up a car, but what about the rest of the time? I submit that it is not necessary for them to use flashing lights when they’re actually driving on the road. I don’t care if you have a car hitched to your truck. Is that your way of signaling to the world that they shouldn’t freak out if they see a car going backwards on the highway? Fear not, tow truck man. If someone gets freaked out, it’s their own fault that they are too obtuse to notice the big truck on which the car is attached.

Here’s my beef with the flashing lights: First, they are distracting when the tow truck is on the same highway for miles and miles and you are forced to constantly see their flashing lights and contemplate your chances of having a seizure. Second, for a split second I sometimes think it’s a vehicle with an actual emergency, like a police officer or ambulance. But no, it’s just a self-important tow truck with his fancy flashing lights. So after my heart calms down and I realize I won’t have to pull over to let them pass (or to charm a police officer out of giving me a ticket), I am stuck with the flashing lights in my rear view mirror.

In conclusion: Tow trucks don’t need flashing lights. The world has enough flashing lights and people trying to get more attention than they deserve (cough, cough Justin Bieber cough, cough). We don’t need trucks doing it too.

But seriously, what happens to unsold cars?

3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 22, 2010 12:53 pm

    Are you serious about the cars? It’s not different than any other product (non-perishable at least). The new one comes out and the old ones become cheaper. Ever buy a movie at Walmart from the $5 bin? Yeah, those aren’t the new model anymore.

    The blinking lights are stupid, but if the tow trucks don’t have them on, they are 10x more likely to be pulled over by a trooper.

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      November 22, 2010 12:57 pm

      I am never anything but serious, Andrew.

  2. Your Mama permalink
    November 22, 2010 7:48 pm

    I find it interesting that a heavy car (the tank looking ones) don’t tip the tow truck. I am sure in my science classes I learned why but all I remember is making a battery that actually worked.

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