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7 Lessons on Marriage

December 29, 2010

Those of you who know anything about me might be surprised about today’s topic. Mainly because I’m not married. However, I’ve never let inexperience keep me from making observations before, so why let it stop me now? And I believe I have a unique perspective because of my singleness. I have gleaned my wisdom from years of observation and from living with two different married couples in the last year. So it’s not like I haven’t been taking notes about these things.

Without further ado, here are seven observations I’ve made about marriage:

1. Eighty percent of men lose the ability to take care of themselves when they get married. I made that number up, but I have noticed that a lot of men who were perfectly capable of feeding themselves or finding something to do before marriage suddenly lose this ability afterward. Which to a certain extent is fine, because women generally enjoy taking care of others. The line, though, is when I’m out with a friend and her spouse calls constantly wondering where she is because he’s bored. Get a hobby, skippy.

2. Flirting is just as much fun after the wedding. Nothing is cuter than a married couple that still flirts with each other and teases each other.

Bumbo

Bumbo: One of the 763 seating options that babies have.

3. The amount of things you own will at least double with the birth of your first child. It is astounding that something so small needs so much stuff. The number of seating options alone is baffling. Highchairs, Bumbos, swings, chairs with wheels, chairs that vibrate, seats for the car and for the stroller. The list goes on and rivals the length of the Magna Carta.

4. Leaving the house with children is a process that must be planned hours in advance and given ample amount of time to execute. The amount of things a family has doubles with a baby, but the amount of things they use while traveling (just to the store or even on a long trip) quadruples at least. Entire vehicles are filled with supplies that are meant to defend against impending doom, such as toys falling on the ground or clothes being ruined by messes. And just getting everyone ready to leave the house is a process very similar to how I imagine planning for a meteor to hit the Earth would be.

[Edited to add the fifth point that I skipped or missed or forgot]

5. Your weakness is often their strength. For the last 30 or so hours, this post has been missing a fifth item in the list. I just skipped it completely. Which reminded me of one more observation I have about marriage. The two people often complement each other. Where one person is weak, the other is strong. Whether in something like the ability to express emotion or their strength in budgeting money. So hopefully my future husband will be good with numbers.

Pride and Prejudice

Marital bliss is (partially) found in the viewing of this movie without complaint.

6. Sometimes you should keep your opinion to yourself. This is a case-by-case basis. Learn early on when your spouse wants your honest opinion and when they just want you to listen and support them. And gentleness is very, very important when any sort of opinion is given about something important. Like a haircut or the merits of a new video game.

7. The small things matter. This may be one of those other things that depend on preference, but I am a big fan of surprises, great and small. So when someone surprises me by bringing home a Diet Dr. Pepper, just because they thought of me, I am their fan for life. (Just imagine how happy I’d be with a big surprise.) So when husbands bring home a surprise token of their affection, or a wife makes her husband’s favorite cookies without being asked, that is a recipe for a successful marriage. Or maybe I’m just easily bought.

What say you, married folks? Any observations to add or corrections to make to my lessons? Any single people out there have something to add to my ignorant assumptions?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Daniel Strayer permalink
    December 30, 2010 6:58 pm

    I will say that for the most part these observations are correct. I also just punched my “Who is an awesome husband card” for watching Pride and Prejudice with no contempt.

    However, let us not forget that you were also very good friends with the women in these two married relationships (at least more so than with the men) with whom you hosteled. I think you may have been absent during those times when the women were calling the men asking, “How long does it take to change and alternator?”

    FYI. It is indeed harder (and thereby takes longer than) that replacing that nifty little CFL down the hallway . . .

    Also, did I miss #5 in there somewhere? If so, please amend. After all, you can’t invoke the might number “7” and not expect people to notice the you actually had the number for which there are no lists (that would be “6”).

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      December 30, 2010 7:08 pm

      Ha! My observation about needy men is not just from the two wonderful married couples with whom I lived. Trust me. I’ve been witness to this phenomena multiple times (from married and dating couples of all ages).

      And wow…totally didn’t notice that I skipped number five…heh. Writing is obviously my strength and not numbers. At all. How embarrassing.

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