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The Denim of Contention

January 26, 2011

Below, you will find the most dramatic retelling of trying on a pair of jeans you will probably ever read. It’s nothing but a 24/7 party of madness ’round these parts.

AnthropologieI remember sometime right after college when I first discovered the beauty that is Anthropologie. Their clothes were so cute and different from what you find in Target or Old Navy. Their accessories made my fingers tingle. And the household items–oh the household items! I wanted to live in their catalog, a place where surely nothing but creativity and optimism would flow forth from my mind.

Alas, as a poor college graduate my budget was more in line with Forever 21 and the sale rack at Target. So I did what any upstanding wannabe fashionista would do and I went to eBay for help. I scoured the listings and found a pair of jeans that would surely do nothing but work magic on my figure.

But ho! What is this horrid sight before me? A wrench was thrown in my plan as I noticed that the sizing was not American, but some sort of European system that suddenly tripled my normal size! I used my feeble math skills to calculate my size and came up with a frightening number. I prayed to the fashion gods, bought the jeans and awaited their arrival.

My excitement over these discounted jeans was on par with a child from the mid 90s receiving the coveted last item to complete their collection of McDonald’s Happy Meal Beanie Babies. When the package arrived I tore it open and reveled in their beauty. The time had come to try them on.

One leg in and I knew something was amiss. I tried putting the other leg on, hoping the problem rest in the lop-sidedness of only having one leg on. But woes upon woes, this was not the case.

They were too small.

Devastated would probably not be the correct adjective. Disgusted perhaps. But I would not let the fashion gods get me down. I kept the tag on the jeans, folded them neatly, and deposited them to the bottom of my dresser drawer. One day those coveted jeans would fit me and I’d think back to this day as the low point in my fashion life. Until then, they would find a safe haven in my dresser and serve as a reminder of what could be.

The years trickled by like raindrops on a window–sometimes racing by, sometimes just barely moving. The jeans remained in the drawer as I moved from place to place, changed jobs, lost jobs, voted for a president and became a firm believer that 30 Rock is the funniest show on television. Still those jeans sat, ready to be worn.

After one such move I became serious. Not only would all my other clothes become too large, but those jeans–those wonderful, cute, perfectly European jeans would fit me.

And so, today, on January 26, 2011, I worked up the courage. None of my other jeans fit and I was ready for The Test. The Test that would either end in more determination to continue eating healthfully so they’d fit, or the determination to continue eating healthfully so they’d be too large as well. Either way–I had a goal.

I put my left leg in. Success!

I put my right leg in. Success!

Then I shook it all about.

They fit. Like a dream. And the peasants rejoiced.

*Fin*

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 26, 2011 2:13 pm

    I love this!!! Congrats! I’d love to know what you are doing to help you shrink. I need some motivation!

    On a side note – never shopped at Anthropologie or Forever 21… but was a bit nervous when calculating my shoe size and ordering Birkenstocks.

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      January 26, 2011 6:20 pm

      Thanks Steph! I’m just eating healthier (avoiding sugar and excessive sodium especially) and exercising. I’ve never been great about exercising, so I think that’s helping a lot!

      Forever 21 is great if you can dig to find the gems. And it’s a super cheap place to find trendy items that you don’t want to spend a lot on b/c it will be out of style in a few months.

  2. gail permalink
    January 26, 2011 3:20 pm

    hahaha – LOVED this ๐Ÿ˜› and… congrats ๐Ÿ˜‰ you should post a pic of yourself modeling in these said super-cute jeans!

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      January 26, 2011 6:23 pm

      Thanks Gail! I tried taking a photo of myself but the lighting in my place is horrible and I don’t have a good mirror to use. That’s what I’m telling myself at least…haha

  3. January 26, 2011 3:29 pm

    Yes! A picture, please! My story is 7 For All Mankind jeans. I bought them when I was at the peak of fitness that I’ve ever been (yes, at a 2nd-hand store, for about 5% of their original value). They fit perfectly when I brought them home, but unless I start exercising an hour a day, every day (again), they will not fit me in a long, long time…They are still there, in my closet, folded neatly, waiting. Hope springs eternal~ ๐Ÿ™‚

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      January 26, 2011 6:27 pm

      Nice find! Love it when you come across something amazing in a secondhand store amongst the junk!

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