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The World’s Worst Chick Flick Part 11: He’s Just Not That Into You

March 1, 2011

I have endured several unendurable movies for this series on the search for the world’s worst chick flick. Most of the movies I had seen beforehand and just watched them again to make sure I didn’t forget anything. But for this week’s movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, I’m going to wing it and not re-watch it.

He’s Just Not That Into You has about 87 different couples coupling it up and breaking up and doing stupid stuff, so I thought I’d make it easy by using photos. Because photos are worth 1000 words and I’m guessing you don’t want to read 87,000 different words about this movie. Worth noting: This movie is like six degrees of Kevin Bacon because everyone is somehow connected to each other. Let’s do this thing:

Gigi and Alex

Gigi and Alex

Gigi and Alex meet in a bar after Gigi decides to try stalking her last date at his favorite bar. Alex is the bartender and when he realizes what Gigi’s doing, he gives her advice and tells it to her like it is. If a guy doesn’t call, he’s not into you. Alex also tells her that she just has bad taste in men. They become friends and Gigi begins going to Alex for all her dating advice. You’ll never believe this, but she falls for him and thinks he’s falling for her too. She misreads all the signals (or sees what she wants to see) and things get awkward when she makes a move and he’s all “Hollup, hollup, hollup…” Gigi yells at him and says that he’s going to end up alone because he’s afraid of commitment. He realizes that she’s right and they end up together. Here’s my question: Did Alex end up with her because he really did love her, or because he didn’t want to be alone? In six months after a big fight, is he going to realize that he’d rather be alone than with a crazy woman who stalks her dates?

Janine, Ben and Anna

Janine, Ben and Anna

Next, we have the love triangle of Janine, Ben, and Anna. Actually, it’s not a love triangle. It’s just that Ben is a jerk and Anna is a homewrecker. Janine and Ben are married and Ben is apparently getting the seven-year itch. He meets Anna at a grocery store and one things leads to another and they’re having an affair. But neither one of them is much of a catch or all that into commitment, so in the end all three of them are alone. Except Janine is alone because she kicked Ben out and decided that he should live the life he wants to live. Ben and Anna are alone and seem kind of pathetic.

Neil and Beth

Neil and Beth

Beth and Neil are the least annoying couple in this movie. They’ve been together for years, but are unmarried. Beth finally tells Neil that she wants to get married, but Neil doesn’t think they need to get married. They break up, but when Beth’s father gets sick and Neil shows up to help her family through this hard time, she realizes what a great guy he is (unlike the loser husbands of her sisters). So she tells Ben that she doesn’t need marriage, but she does need him. He then realizes that he wants marriage and he wants Beth. Neil and Beth live happily ever after.

Mary and Barry

Mary and Barry

Barry and Mary don’t meet until the end of the movie. Barry was the bad date of Gigi’s at the beginning of the movie and Mary has spent the whole movie complaining about men. She also gives Ann horrible advice and basically tells her that it’s okay to be a homewrecker because what if he’s “The One.”

Now that we’ve got all that out of the way, here’s the bottom line: The title lies. He is into you, and if he’s not into you, it’s because he’s a loser. It’s not you, it’s him. Or it’s because he’s not “The One” and “The One” is right around the corner. When Alex is being brutally honest with Gigi, he explains that every woman wants to be the exception to the rule, but hardly anyone is. Except, of course, all the people in this movie. So they continue perpetuating a cliché that life really is like a romantic comedy, even when we say it isn’t.

The first time I saw this movie, I liked it at first. But then I just kept thinking about it and over-analyzing it and seeing just how screwed up it is. The people in this movie who aren’t obsessed with finding someone who “completes them” are made out to be horrible, while the women who are convinced they won’t be happy while they’re single are given exactly what they want. It’s just not a great message for anyone to hear.

Movie Scale

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