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30-Second Thoughts

March 17, 2011

You know how you have software on your computer that blocks sites containing pornography? Someone should write a software program that doesn’t block entire sites, but blacks out just certain content. For example, I could tell the program to block anything on a site that talks about the Kardashians or anyone named Snooki. Although if I did that, half of CNN’s content would be gone.

Why haven’t more people talked about the fact that Michael Jordan has a Hitler mustache in that Hanes commercial? I know he’s a great athlete and a legend and blah blah blah, but we really have to draw the line somewhere. Have we not all read the story The Emperor’s New Clothes? The people just let the king waltz down the road butt naked until a kid finally told the truth. Are we really the kind of celebrity-obsessed culture that would let a man walk around with a Hitler-stache? Heck, even if a person as horrible and evil as Hitler hadn’t sported that thing, it’s still stupid looking. And friends don’t let friends wear stupid facial hair.

Sometimes I really wish ad jingles were still popular today. There are a few out there, but the jingle just isn’t as popular as the regular, non-melodic tagline. I have a simple reason for wanting the jingle to make a comeback: I’m pretty sure they would replace the real estate in my memory that is currently being filled with stupid T-Pain lyrics. Rather than the inane lyric “Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol” playing over and over in my head, I’d have a pleasant and inoffensive jingle in the my head. And not just T-Pain lyrics, but any catchy but completely unremarkable lyric. (I’m looking at you Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Black Eyed Peas.)


4 Comments leave one →
  1. Schniff Schnaff Shalomie permalink
    March 17, 2011 3:55 pm

    Although, maybe it’s time to redeem it back from Hitler. If anyone could do it, Michael would be on the short list. Evil shouldn’t get to keep things.

    On the flip side, it is indeed a silly looking stache. Maybe if it was a goatee I would say, “You go, MJ!” and proudly support the redemption of the goat. But I’m not going to grow one of those nose flaps. And I’m not naming my first-born Hitler.

  2. March 18, 2011 12:08 am

    best jingle EVER! This commercial was a staple fixture of saturday morning cartoons when I was a kid, and I’m fairly sure it drove all the kids my age who grew up to be truck drivers right where they needed to go.

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      March 18, 2011 11:00 am

      That was awesome! It was a nice little jingle and then they took it to a whole new level with the dramatic pause between “551” and “8900.” Hilarious!

  3. Amanda permalink
    March 18, 2011 6:45 pm

    Did you know there is a browser plugin that blocks Charlie Sheen content? So it can obviously be done… they should just make a way for you to pick and choose the celebrities.

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