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You’ve Been Blocked

April 11, 2011

A lot of people are pretty picky about whose Facebook friend requests they accept. Not me. I’ll accept just about anyone’s request as long as they aren’t creepers. I seriously believe some people have it down to a scientific method as to who they’ll be Facebook friends with, including equations and algorithms that determine whether or not a person is worthy of being added to their list of friends.

I don’t care if we never talked in high school or if we only met once at someone else’s house. If you want to be my Facebook friend, that’s fine by me. Let’s all join hands across America and stalk each other. However, if you fill up my feed with any of the following things, you will be blocked faster than you can say “My grammar would make an English teacher cry.”

1. Passive Aggression: Being passive aggressive is one of my biggest pet peeves in the entire world, online or off-line. If you can’t be honest and say what you really mean or say it to someone’s face, then you don’t have the right to post a vague status update. If you are so inept at communicating with others that you have to use Facebook and be a jerk about it, then you are officially blocked. Say what you mean, mean what you say. The end.

2. Over-sharing: You know those people—the ones who share all the awkward details of their life. I don’t mind people who frequently share funny stories, but I don’t need to know that you are fighting with your spouse or your kids have mastered the art of using the toilet. Keep that talk in the bedroom and bathroom, where it belongs.

3. Politics: I have blocked several people who seem to think that the sole purpose of Facebook is to share their political rants and opinions. Here’s the thing: If no one wants you to talk incessantly about something in person, what makes you think they want to read about it on Facebook? If you’re incapable of posting anything other than links to political stories or (almost always inaccurate) rants about politicians, then guess what? You are blocked.

Judgement Cat

The look you receive while complaining about your diamond ring weighing too much.

4. Complaining: It’s a little ironic that complaining will get you blocked, when that’s basically what I’m doing here. But this is my blog and I’ll be a hypocrite if I want to. I think we all know someone who has nothing of any consequence to complain about, but that’s all they do. They have a great job, a loving family, and they still find a way to complain about their wallet being too full of Benjamins and their Porsche is in the shop so they’re forced to drive the Mercedes. Their feed is like a lesson in First World problems.

5. Bad Grammar/Punctuation: I have been known to block someone for their punctuation alone. I know that makes me sound like I have a case of copy editing OCD that needs medication, but the person in question uses an exclamation point and question mark at the end of every single sentence. Every!? Single!? Sentence!? I just couldn’t handle it. I’m not one for correcting a person’s mistakes on Facebook, despite the temptation, but if you repeatedly make mistakes that you should have learned about in elementary school, then I refuse to lower my IQ by letting your updates fill my feed.

What about you? Are there any things on Facebook (or even Twitter) that will get someone blocked, unfriended, or unfollowed?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 11, 2011 1:09 pm

    Can we add LOL mis-users?

    “OMG the government almost shut down. lol.

    • dtdorrin permalink*
      April 12, 2011 4:17 pm

      Most definitely. Actually, let’s just add anyone who overuses and misuses acronyms like that.

      • Dan Strayer permalink
        April 13, 2011 7:28 pm

        rotflol 😉

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