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Movies and Hives: Best Friends Forever

April 14, 2011

Picking out a movie for a group of friends to watch is how I imagine it would feel for a tween to meet Justin Bieber and sing to him the song they wrote during Math class while secretly listening to his album on their iPod. There’s just so much pressure to pick something that everyone will enjoy.

Because if you pick the wrong movie, you will forever be known as the person who made everyone watch Bicentennial Man. The person who stole two hours of someone’s life (my life) to watch Robin Williams play a robot that marries a human.

I’m still bitter about that movie.

The problem is further complicated by the fact that almost every group has a hater—someone who is only happy when they pick the movie. Maybe it’s someone who has a degree in theater, so they point out every bad actor (even if they’re not bad, just more successful) and movie cliché. Or maybe it’s the person who only likes one genre of movie and asking them to mix things up is akin to asking the Bubble Boy to lick a toilet seat.*

More on that person: Seriously, why do we, the people-pleasers of the world, let these narrow-minded movie watchers rule over us? Why do we continue watching alien movies or Vin Diesel just to appease them?

What’s also awkward is watching a movie from your childhood that you loved, but haven’t seen in years. Then you pop in the movie and find out that it’s full of things you don’t remember and what you thought was hilarious 10 or 15 years ago is now just embarrassing.

So this is why I preface every movie with something like “I love this movie, but it’s a little quirky.” Or “I like this movie, but there are no aliens or crotch-shot jokes.”

Am I the only one who gets hives when faced with the task of picking out a movie everyone will like?

*Ewww


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2 Comments leave one →
  1. E_Marie permalink
    April 14, 2011 3:31 pm

    A specific type of this situation I find particularly awkward is when the group the movie is to be watched with is your family. Here’s my dilemma: When I see a movie that has something wildly inappropriate in it, I immediately set to work wiping that from my memory. Sometimes, said movie is perfectly enjoyable except for one or two really awkward scenes. I’m so good at forgetting those scenes that months later, when my parents ask me to recommend a movie for family viewing, I will recommend that same movie.

    You see where this is going. I end up watching wildly inappropriate movie content with my entire family, who will then, with one accord, stare at me in shock and horror for being the one to recommend watching this…yessssss.

  2. April 14, 2011 4:52 pm

    The easiest way I’ve found to get around this is being the guy who pays for the movie. “Hey everybody, here’s a movie I just bought/rented/Netflixeded/downloaded illegally! Who wants to come watch it?”

    If everybody’s throwing in on the movie, you’re more obligated to pick something everyone will like. If you’re not paying for the movie we’re watching, it’s hard to complain about it…so circumvent that problem by volunteering to pay.

    Also, the person who made you watch Bicentennial Man isn’t as awkward as my friend who hadn’t seen Bubba Ho Tep since getting saved and had forgotten how many awkward moments it would create for his Christian friends.

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