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World’s Worst Chick Flick Part 16: Bride Wars

April 26, 2011

I think I’ve made it pretty clear that Kate Hudson isn’t really my favorite actress. There’s just something about her—like she woke up one day when she was 15 after another Friday night spent watching Overboard with her mom, and decided that she would be the coolest girl ever. The kind of girl that guys love to be around. So she made a list of what guys like and has followed it to the letter ever since. Which means girls don’t like her and she has this general aura of trying way too hard to be cool.

So, of course, I was not a fan of the movie Bride Wars before I ever even saw it. But it has Anne Hathaway in it, so it can’t be too bad, right?

Wrong.

According to Hollywood, women who are getting married are horrible human beings who will forsake lifelong friendships for a great wedding location. Perhaps they gathered their intel from shows such as Bridezilla and Say Yes to the Dress and the 40 million other wedding and wedding-related shows.

So here’s the premise of the movie: Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) get engaged at the same time after planning their weddings since the first time they laid eyes on a bridal Barbie or something. Liv, by the way, gets engaged after basically ruining her boyfriend’s big proposal plan because she found the ring in his drawer or closet or something. Translation: Liv cares more about planning a wedding than the actual symbolism of what it means to be engaged and vowing to spend your life with someone.

How sweet.

Liv and Emma have always and always and always and forever wanted to get married at The Plaza. Except through a series of mistaken schedules, it turns out only one date is available. So now they hate each other and want to ruin each others weddings so that people will go to their blessed event, rather than their friend’s. So they’re mean to each other, mess up fake tans, manipulate people, and basically become hyperbolic examples of every female stereotype in the world.

If this is what women were really like, I might have to side with the male chauvinists who believe women are too emotional to hold political office or even vote.

In the end they make up and become friends again after one of them breaks off the engagement. (I won’t tell who because I know you want to go rent it after this glowing review.)

Seriously, you have to wonder what in the world Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway were thinking when they said they’d do this movie. It has to be a favor to someone who once saved their lives from a potentially tragic hair-cutting experience.

Kate Hudson's BangsIn fact, a tragic hair-cutting experience is also the only explanation for Kate Hudson’s bangs in this movie. Her bangs are so large and distracting, that you’d think the movie poster would say it was starring Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson’s bangs.

The only use for this movie I can think of is for women to make their men watch it so they can be eternally grateful that their girlfriend or wife is not crazy like Liv or Emma.Bride Wars

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 27, 2011 1:22 am

    blech. that movie is the worst. i barely remember it, and you know how i am with remembering every single detail of every single movie i’ve watched. i’ve blocked it out as a painful cinematic memory.

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