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A Love Song to Pizza Parties

June 2, 2011

You know that feeling when you’re slowly waking up, the tips of dreams still running around your head, and then you remember there’s leftover pizza in the fridge? Your head pops off the pillow and you no longer need that extra few minutes of rest because nothing wakes you up faster than the prospect of cold pizza for breakfast.

When I was a kid there was always the terrifying chance that my brother had gotten to it before me, thus making me wish that violence could be the answer every once in a while.

This love of pizza I possess makes me wonder why adults have given up on pizza parties. Sure, we all eat pizza, but when was the last time you went to a party with the sole purpose of celebrating this culinary masterpiece? As kids, pizza parties were commonplace, but as adults they’ve gone the way of afternoon naps and recess. Competitions were won with the promise of a pizza party, because as children of the 80s and 90s, nothing was a better prize than pizza. Now I guess kids win video games and iPads.

And so I ask why have we forsaken these parties? As kids, we assume that being an adult is the best thing ever. You can stay up as late as you want and eat ice cream for dinner. Then you grow up and realize that all that freedom has translated into responsibility. We begrudgingly give up our right to recess and using “butthead” as a legitimate insult, but why do we give up pizza parties? Since when is that okay and right and patriotic? Never. It is never right to give up pizza parties.

And so I beseech you to take back pizza parties and make them common again. The next time you’re looking for an excuse to have a party, don’t fall back on the over-used reasoning of birthdays or good weather. Rather, harken back to the days of innocence and cooties, and rustle up some pizza. And then eat the leftovers for breakfast while you watch cartoons.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Amanda permalink
    June 2, 2011 3:55 pm

    I just watched a video of grown ups “enjoying” a pizza party. However, their pizza was made with ingredients from pizzas on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, hence the quotation marks.

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