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30-Second Thoughts

June 22, 2011

– I’m thinking it would be lucrative to start a portrait studio where I take photos of pets with backgrounds like school photos from the 90s. My target customers would be hipsters, people who home cook their pet’s meals, and fans of Internet memes like the Pop Tart Cat.

– Have you ever been browsing Facebook and you see “Jane Doe liked Such and Such and 26 other pages” and thought “Oh, it all makes sense now!” In other words, you understand why they are the way they are way better now.

– I am all about cancer research and I like those ads about working to give cancer patients more birthdays. So I like those things, right? We’re clear on the fact that I’m in favor of cancer research, right? But the commercials with a bunch of celebrities singing Happy Birthday make my ears bleed. I can’t exactly put my finger on why, but I think it’s because every single celebrity is trying to stylize the world’s simplest song and “make it theirs.” STOP IT. It’s like singers who mess up the national anthem—it doesn’t work. Just sing it like the original author meant it to be sung. Stop showing off, Ricky Martin!

– On a more personal note about things for which you don’t care: I gave up using real shampoo last week and have been using Dr. Bronner’s Magic 18-in-1 Hemp Lavender Pure-Castile Soap (And the winner of the longest name ever goes to….!) and then using apple cider vinegar as conditioner. I have officially reached the stage where my hair feels gross and I’m starting wonder if I should return to my first love, Herbal Essences. But my hair is a lot softer and less frizzy, so I’m holding out hope that once my hair recovers from years of shampoo-stripping, things will turn out okay. If this were Twitter, this is when I’d add the hashtag #firstworldproblems.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 22, 2011 5:12 pm

    My grandpa didn’t use shampoo. He always said that it was all in the name- when you break it down, “sham” means fake, and “poo” means.. well, poo. Fake crap. All a scam. (I can’t live without it though)

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