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Cursive: The Secret Language

July 7, 2011
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Some schools have stopped teaching cursive because it’s a dying art that no one uses any more. Unless they’re in front of me at the grocery store and taking 15 minutes to fill out a check. And I guess because they can use that time to teach kids other things such as how to use computers so they don’t ever have to pick up a pen again.

Actually, do they still have computer classes? Or do they already know that “kids these days” come out of the womb with a smart phone and more knowledge about computers than anyone born before 1970?

I digress.

I’m actually only slightly disappointed that they’re getting rid of cursive in schools. My hope is that kids in the future will be so ignorant of written script, that I’ll be able to write in cursive and make them think it’s some sort of secret language. Kind of like parents who spell out words around their kids.

It’s almost time for her afternoon N-A-P and then we’re going to tell her that she’s A-D-O-P-T-E-D.”

I’ll be able to write about secrets of the universe and they’ll be all “What? Why does that letter have a tail on it?” And I’ll be all “Go play with your hoverboard, kid.”

This blog entry makes me sound a lot older than I am. Maybe I’ve been watching too much NCIS.

A few more things that future generations will never know they’re missing (and never know how much awesome they’re missing):

1. Summer television shows are all repeats, so you can leave the house and not feel like you’re missing out on a new episode of So You Think You Can Dance.

2. Living in a world where Scary Movie doesn’t exist.

3. Tom Cruise before he was crazy.

4. Wearing oversized t-shirts with Looney Tunes characters dressed as thugs. Okay, maybe they’re not missing anything with that one.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 7, 2011 2:19 pm

    I’ll be sure to teach my children to write in cursive, just for you.

    Also, fun story: the computer teacher next to mom’s classroom (Mrs. Langley, I don’t know if you ever had her) had to type something up using carbon paper one day, so she hauled out her typewriter. I kid you not, the kids thought it was NEW TECHNOLOGY that could TYPE DIRECTLY ON THE PAPER. I still get a kick out of that one, and it was a couple of years ago at best.

  2. July 7, 2011 11:15 pm

    “Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does” — Bart Simpson (chalkboard)

    You don’t want me writing in cursive.

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