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Reasons I Want Children: Part 1

November 15, 2011

1. I’m going to feed them lines. Each of these lines will be blunt truths that I’ve always wanted to tell someone, but can’t because I’m adult. For example, “Hey —-, you whine too much. You remind me of Eeyore, except not as cute.”

2. Blog material. Admit it, moms. You wouldn’t have nearly as much content if it weren’t for those little bundles of joy. Unless, of course, the stories of your children are just a cover-up for all the actual crazy events going on in your life.

3. Molding young minds to believe the same things as me. Sure, they can choose what they believe. But as long as their living under my roof, Coca-cola is superior to Pepsi, movies with Adam Sandler dressing as a woman are fundamentally wrong, and U2 is the most overrated band of all time.

4. Craft time is all the time. Every time I walk up and down the aisles of a craft store, I have to keep myself from grabbing all the children’s crafts off the racks. Problem: I have no reason to make them, or a place to put them. Solution: Children.

What are some other reasons to have kids?

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 15, 2011 6:16 pm

    Tax purposes, of course! I hear you get lots of cash back. Sounds good to me! 😉

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