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10 People who should win the Mega Millions Lottery

March 30, 2012
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1. Me. I guess I should buy a ticket first, though. Here’s what I’d do with the money.

2. The girl who asked for my ID at the grocery store.

3. The little old couple I saw at WalMart years ago. He bought his wife a single rose and from the look on her face, you’d think he’d lassoed the moon for her. I bet he’d use at least a million dollars of his winnings to buy her roses.

4. Anyone I know who has been laid off in the last few years, and subsequently realized their major in school only seemed like a good idea.

5. Anyone who can adequately explain to me how fish can survive in the ocean with so much pressure. See this.

6. The people who green-lit the Newsies stage musical.

7. The people who have ever said no to an Adam Sandler movie.

8. People who abstain from taking photos of their feet and thinking they’re creative.

9. The guy or gal who told Digiorno they should start selling pizza and cookies in the same box.

10. Anyone who doesn’t normally buy a lottery ticket and hold up the line at the gas station, because seriously, why can’t they just have two lines? One for people taking three years to buy a lottery ticket, and another line for those of us who just want to pay for our drink?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 11, 2012 10:56 am

    bless you for #7. seriously, bless you.

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