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There’s a pirate joke in here somewhere

June 18, 2012

I’m the type of person who names her possessions. I get attached to my computer, my car, my mini Jadeite tea set. I still miss my first car, Gerald the Geo. Yes, a Geo Prism. I know what you’re thinking. Geo Prisms have never been considered a cool car, but let me put you straight. That car was more awesome than your Mitsubishi Eclipse that could probably get beat up by a Fisher Price Cozy Coupe.

My current car is basically the best car in the world. He looks small, but Huck packs a punch. You look at him and think he’s a wee little thing without leg room. Well, you’d be wrong. He’s a Nissan Versa, which means he has hidden leg room and six cup holders. Your car with its two cup holders just got owned.

I’m attached to Huck, so when he’s hurt, I’m hurt. He’s my traveling buddy and has helped me moved approximately 47 times since we became friends.

Then this happened:

Some punks were bored on Saturday night or Sunday morning and decided to use Huck as target practice. I mean seriously. Couldn’t they have just stayed at home and played video games or left mean comments on YouTube?

I usually park my car in a grassy area across the street from my house, so it’s in full view of anyone who feels like participating in shenanigans. The possibilities are endless as to why someone would want to throw a brick at a complete stranger’s car window. I’m guessing it boils down to opportunity. And a lack of a father figure who taught them that fixing a car is a better outlet than destroying a car. But I guess that’s not really for me to say since I don’t know who did it. But I’m going to say it anyway because it happened on Father’s Day. Coincidence? Nope. Because coincidences don’t exist. BAM. Truth bomb.

Until the glass installer repairs the window this afternoon, Huck is stuck with a black trash bag covering up his blemish. That it looks like an eye patch is not lost on me, and neither is the fact that Huck looks pathetic with his lack of wheel covers and magnetic chip clips holding the bag in place.

Class? We got it.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Schniff Schnaf Shalomie permalink
    June 18, 2012 3:20 pm

    The Chrysler Granger was an awesome vehicle as well. Despite the heat always pumping out (so that I’d have to roll the window down in the winter and sweat it out in the summer), and despite someone calling it a “Grandma Cruiser” once, I was sad to watch it get towed away (I even took video of the depressing moment.) Many adventures were had in that car, many perilous moments, many wonderful times. We called it the “Terminator” because accidents didn’t seem to faze it. That thing had more luxury perks than the car I drive 14 years its younger. My new car is okay, but nothing beats the character of those underdog vehicles.

  2. Amanda Strayer permalink
    June 18, 2012 5:51 pm

    I feel exactly the same way about Preston. The first car I had. At 16 years old, Tiff and I had matching Green Geo Prizms. And parked next to one another in our high school lot. That’s right folks, everyone was jealous. My husband still drives this car, it’s been with me for 12 years and has nearly 300k on that bad boy. I will be in tears when it is no longer with our family. I love that car.

  3. Mom permalink
    June 18, 2012 9:15 pm

    I believe everyone should send Tiff a hearty “ARG” in honor of Huck becoming a pirate.

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