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A Short Play About Heaven

January 2, 2015

shrimpSetting: A buffet line in heaven. It has chocolate fountains and cotton candy just like Golden Corral. But there’s no need for a sneeze guard, because this is heaven.

Human 1: Can you believe all this food! It’s amazing! And it’s here all day, every day!

Human 2: Yeah, it’s pretty great…

Human 1: Why aren’t you more enthusiastic!? It has 473 types of cheese!

Human 2: No, yeah, that’s really awesome! It’s just…

[Human 2 lowers voice to a whisper]

Human 2: Have you noticed that it’s missing something? I mean, it’s not a big deal. It’s just…I really like shrimp, and I haven’t seen any the whole time I’ve been here, which is like 10,000 days.

GOD: I heard that.

Human 2: Wait, what? No, I didn’t mean anything by it! I was just curious. Why isn’t there any shrimp?

GOD: I still can’t believe I’m getting asked this. You were never supposed to eat shrimp. I thought I made that clear when I made them disgusting looking. They are the roaches of the sea. Y’all nasty.

THE END.

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